College is much more difficult than I thought it would be. I'm not even there yet! But there are just so many papers, emails, junk mail, and events going on all at the same time. It is very stressful... Especially because there are no clear answers to anything. I personally like a clear list of things to do, but nooooo it has to be difficult. Ok, my complaining has stopped for now!
Alright, so the musical is over as of the beginning of this month. My only complaint is that I wished I could've been recognized on stage, but it wasn't a big deal. I got to push over a gigundo pyramid. So that was fun :-) Mrs. K also complimented my cleaning up skills, no big deal or anything, but she did it in front of the band. Then she asked me if I was up for a challenge, and of course I asked what it was first, because I don't agree to things willy nilly. For all I knew I could've been selling my soul to the devil! But it turns out she was not going to be in school for a day, the week before out concert, so her challenge was for me to conduct the band that day for practice because sectionals would be pointless. I accepted because I have always wanted to do that! But then I saw the look on the other two drum majors, who happen to by guys. The look on one's face was murderous and the other was pity because he knew the other one was going to quite literally have me assassinated. So later on that day, like 3 periods later, I was told all of the stuff the murderous drum major had said about me. It wasn't very nice, and I honestly did not need to hear it, but I emasculated him and got into his head. Instead of a room of my own like for Virginia Wolfe, I got a band of my own, and what he supposedly said about me didn't phase me because I knew that I could handle the band better than he could because I was nicer to everybody, and they voted me President of the Band, not him. So I conducted the band. I got up on the podium and instead of letting him intimidate me, I was confident, in charge, and smiley. Virginia Wolfe had a point, women have to be able to stand up and face those little whispers at first, yet once they break through the ranks the first time, it will be so much easier to write and be creative. Or like in Cinderella, a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, there is a song titled "In My Own Little Corner." In that corner Cinderella can be anything she wants, she can be an heiress or a huntress on an African safari who has this cool and confident kind of air. I started off in that corner, and I've branched out. I'm a princess in my own right, a kick butt one at that too. I just need to keep reminding myself of that because nobody will make me feel inferior anymore. If I meet another terrible human being like Kern, than I will be prepared. I will march right up to them and say I can do whatever I want, I am supreme leader of the universe thank you very much! You were right Mrs. Burnett, it is a little bit of my own Bildungsroman. I'm still kind of faking it until I make it, but I am almost there. I will be going into that treasure house or walking in the garden without a guy walking with me. I will be my own person and I'll expand my own little corner.
